have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
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