I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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