AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize