I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize