Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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