so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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