69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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