You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i just wanna soil my oats bro
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize