I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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