Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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