I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Randomize