:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Randomize