1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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