it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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