This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
You left your phone here
Wait...
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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