She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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