Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize