You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
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Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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