I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
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The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
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So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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