Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
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then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
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Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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