It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize