Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Randomize