you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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