After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize