Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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