Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
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I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
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all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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