I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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