I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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