3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
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I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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