Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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