dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
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