And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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