i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'm getting married
To pizza
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Please don't give away my fajitas
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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