i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
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