There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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