Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Are my feet made of real feet?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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