is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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