is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
tell me about the eggs
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize