Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
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so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
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I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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