so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
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Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize