No, you can still breathe under the balls.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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