Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize