There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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