dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
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You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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