just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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