marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I think I sprained my soul last night
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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