Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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