hell yes lets make some ravioli
he wants to bone in the snuggie
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
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I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
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She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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