Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize