This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You pole danced in your parka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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