I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
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I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
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Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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