i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize