I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize