theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize