so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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